I have been reading about this corridor of eclipses and the Autumn Eclipse window we have been moving through over the past couple weeks. It will culminate tomorrow Nov 8 with the lunar eclipse where the Full Eclipse will be visible at 5:16am in Boston and Maximum Eclipse at 5:59am, ending at 6:41:36 am. I have felt the force of this acutely over the past couple of weeks in the form of overwhelm, shortness of breath, distractibility and unsettledness. Naturally, as we do, I've tried to manage and fix versus be. I've resisted these feelings, I don't have time for them - I've got to get the work done, the dentist visits in, the winter activities registered, the joyous milestones celebrated, the self-care scheduled (ha!). The more I try to control these unpleasant sensations, the more unruly they get. Followed closely by my old twin friends of "self-doubt and you're not enough". So I try harder. I dig in. I get constricted. Until I collapse. Mercy!
Tara Brach says "Whatever we can't embrace with love imprisons us".
These words I found while flipping through one of my many half-filled journals of musings. As if I was drawn to them, they were waiting quietly for me to re-discover. Once I finally allowed myself to be.
I realize the loud voices within are simply a cry for love. To lead with love. To remember love.
So tomorrow, Nov 8 as the sun, earth and moon align I will be present with love.